10 Rules for Friends with Benefits – Japanese Style


First of all, no this is not a post or a review about the movie “Friends With Benefits”. This is a post about what ”Friends With Benefits” is all about and how you maybe able to score such a friend!!

If you are depressed over a broken relationship, and you are not ready for a serious romantic relationship, but you want occasional companionship and sex, with no strings attached, then you should find a ‘friend with benefits’.

Many guys who don’t want a commitment prefer this type of relationship, because there are no strings attached. “Friends with benefits” is defined as “Two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved. Typically two good friends who have casual sex, without a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment”. In other words a friend with benefit is a sex friend who is friend in the morning and sex partner at night. In this type of relationship there is no commitment, no expectations, no time frame for the relationship and no rules and regulation. There is no romance, no gifts, and no flowers and no candle-light dinners, the main benefit is just ‘sex’. The friendship bond is temporary and can last a few days or few months.

This concept is gaining popularity nowadays. There are many men and women who are busy with their careers and social lives and want a casual, no-string attached sexual relationship. As long as the relationship is smooth, and both people know that it is all sex, the friends with benefits relationship can be really good.

If you are interested in friends with benefits relationship, there are certain rules you should keep in mind, for keeping the relationship good.

  • Be honest with each other. Make it clear that you both understand that the relationship is only for sex.
  • Don’t fall in love
  • No spending the night in his/her place. Spend only about 2-3 hours together and make sure no personal stuffs are left behind.
  • Don’t go on a date. It is better to avoid hanging around with her.
  • Avoid emails, regular phone calls etc. Don’t stay in touch with each other often. Make a plan in the beginning as to the days, place and time of meetings.
  • Have an exist plan. Don’t stay with one person for love. This will prevent falling in love.
  • Wear protection always.
  • Just do the job and leave. Don’t discuss your personal matters, ambitions etc.
  • Don’t be over enthusiastic.
  • Avoid being friends with benefits with a close friend.

Japanese call the ‘friends with benefits’ relationship as “セックス友” (Sekusutomo) which means f***Buddy or sex friend.

Traditionally, Japanese followed the form of courtship called Omiai, where the parents asked matchmakers to bring photos and resumes of eligible partners and the couples would meet only if the parents agree with the match. But, these days we find that the traditional courtship is giving way to no commitment, casual and temporary relationships. Sekusutomo relationships have become more popular in Japan. Sex is casual for many Japanese people and based on surveys conducted in 2002, it has been found that some boys and girls keep more than five or more Sekusutomo or sex friends.  Because there was a low rate of HIV infection in Japan, the Japanese assume that their Sekusutomo relations are at low risks and condoms are seldom used.

In summary, the friend with benefits relationship is becoming popular throughout the world.

Check out these techniques that can help you get a “Sekusutomo”. For Men (to get a female sex friend) and For Women (to get a male sex friend).

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10 Rules for Friends with Benefits – Japanese Style
Friends with benefits situation don't just happen in movies. Read this to help you get a "Friend with Benefits"!!

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