First Dates: Communicating Before The Date

It is a well-known fact that communication is what keeps relationships strong and healthy through the years. Communication is even more important in those crucial early phases of a relationship when you are still building trust and getting to know each other. You want to set the tone off right and set a foundation for the type of communication that will keep your relationship intimate for as long as you like.

It is very important to set the right tone. Communication starts even before your first date. The messages you send by e-mail or by phone will probably be scrutinized and read many times in a no-doubt tedious hunt for hidden meanings. These messages can also be used to your advantage, however, to build up excitement, intimacy, and a natural level of anticipation even before the date begins. Once date time arrives, there are a number of different ways to help you communicate with Japanese girls in person. These communication skills can help keep your date running smoothly. You might also want to check out some ideas on where to go on a first date and some do’s and don’ts of first date behavior.

Once you’ve had your date you might be looking back on it and wondering whether it was a good date or a bad date. Sometimes Japanese girls can be hard to read, but there are ways to read the signs and know how your date went. If you had a good time, you’ll probably want to contact her and ask her out again. But how long should you wait, and what should you say? You don’t want to seem too eager, but you don’t want to let her get away or feel neglected either. This is a common dating conundrum, but that’s exactly what this article will help you to figure out. We’ll look at some dating advice from Japanese website to see exactly what Japanese girls respond to in terms of communication before and after the first date so that you’ve got a leg up on any competition and you’ll be sure to strike the perfect balance with your Japanese girl.

Be Bold and Ask Her Out In Person

The first tip that I’ve picked up from Japanese dating sites might surprise you. They suggest that e-mail or text is not the best way to ask a girl out. When you think about it, the reason is obvious. These messages are easy to refuse, and even easier to ignore. You might spend days wasting your time waiting for a response that will never come. There is no need to put yourself through this kind of stress unnecessarily. If you already know the girl or can think of a way to meet with her in a casual setting first, it is a great opportunity to ask her out. Japanese girls can be a little shy, and they spend a lot of effort avoiding uncomfortable or awkward situations. This means that the chances of her flat out refusing you if you ask her in person are actually pretty low. Even if she isn’t sure whether she likes you, or if you are her type, she might say yes, just to avoid the awkward refusal, or to put it a nicer way, to try things out. You can seize on this opportunity to ask her out and then plan a stellar first date to really impress her and win her over.

If you do decide that you are going to ask her out by e-mail or text, there are still some tips to help you succeed. Maybe you’re the kind of guy to meet a girl and ask for her number so that you can decide if you want to ask her out at sometime later. In that case, you’re going to want to send her a message within a couple of days of meeting her. Don’t wait too long, or she might not be available. If you do decide to ask her out, be as specific as possible. Make sure you remind her how you met, and the pick a place and a time to go on your first date. Maybe you’ll get lucky and pick one of her favorite activities.

texting girl

texting girl

image source

Now that you’ve got that affirmative response that you are looking for and you’ve set up a time and place to meet there are few more things that you can do to help set the right tone for your first meeting. The most important of these is to strike a balance between overly aggressive and seemingly forgetful. This means that you definitely don’t want to pester her with a flood of unsolicited messages like about your dog going pee or any instagrams about what you had for breakfast, but you also don’t want to leave her hanging until right before the date. Basically, you have to use your judgment here. If you are pretty sure that she is into you, sending her a message now and again will probably make her happy and reassured that you are looking forward to the date as much as she is. On the other hand, if you have a sneaking suspicion that she might be out of your league or that it is a dreaded ‘pity date’ than I would keep your messaging to a minimum and save it for your suave first date to strike a home run.

waiting for a text

waiting for your text

image source 

In either case, restraint is the key. Once you have made the arrangement for the time and the date, there isn’t much left except to wait. One exception is that you must confirm one or two days before the date. This makes sure that there isn’t any miscommunication and that you will be both be in the same place at the same time. There is another measurable advantage to maintaining the radio silence between you two until a few days before the date. This will give you both a chance to build up excitement about the upcoming date and even a little bit of nervous tension. Then, when you confirm with her a day or two before, she will be happy to hear that you are still interested and that everything is a go.

Be Clear to Avoid Confusion

text miscommunication

text miscommunication

image source

Another bit of advice in those crucial pre-date messages. You should be clear about the time and the date and the place where you are going to meet. It is good to confirm these details so that you are both clear. Other than that, it’s best not to let on to much about the date. You don’t want to ruin the surprise or spoil any of the fun things you have planned. If you are going for a walk in a park then you should tell her to wear comfortable shoes, but that’s about it, for example. When you confirm your date you will probably get a response like “That’s great, I’m looking forward to it.” There isn’t any need to respond to this with an unnecessary message like, “me too.” You can just leave it there and let the date speak for itself. The planning and attention you put into the date will impress her more than the back and forth beforehand.

Don’t Be Late!

The final and crucial thing about communicating before your first date is to let your date know if you are running at all late. Actually, I take that back. Don’t be late. I can’t stress this enough. In Japan, it is very rude to be late, and if you are late on your first date, it’s definitely not a good sign. It means you are going to have to win an uphill battle to get back into your date’s good books. So, just don’t be late. In fact, why not be early. If you are meeting at a cafe or a museum you can spend a bit of time wandering around and making yourself comfortable before your date arrives. So, one last time, don’t be late. But, if you absolutely know that you are running late, let you date know as early as you can. Even if it is just five minutes, it is better to send a cute little apology in advance than arrive all flustered with sweat dripping off your forehead.

Hopefully, with these words of advice about communicating before your first date, you’ll maximize your opportunities to build that romantic tension before your date. There are lots of other tips to help your first date run smoothly, great places to go, some nice gift ideas, and more tips about communicating with Japanese girls that you can check out to improve your game on that crucial first date. Next time we will take a look at how to communicate after the date and what some of these messages might mean for your chances of reaching second-date territory.


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